A Love at Stake
by kgp
Summary: A mother’s love. That was all been what Harry Potter’s wishing for one day. And as though struck by a lightning, that one day wish was granted – but in a terrible price. Now that all was different, how will Lily Potter relive the day all over again?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 June 29, 1996 

Lily Potter opened her very tired eyes against the morning light that passed from her window. She blinked several times, trying to allow the brilliant ray of the sun before her eyes.

Her heart sank, remembering that today will be her dreaded day to report in front of a few chosen but very important and strict Ministry officials. She has been spending a lot of time working very hard and going home very late, and now, after all the hard work, everything should be perfect.

She craned her neck a bit and gaze hopefully on the clock hanging on the wall that also shows the date June 29 and –

"Six." Sighing, she closed her eyes and opened them slowly. _Oh James, give me enough strength today…_

Ever since James Potter has died while saving both Lily and Harry on the night You-Know-Who went after them, Lily becomes different towards everything. She cried over her husband's dead body on his funeral, cursing almost everything that had happened. But after that, all turned out to be very drastic. She no longer the sweetest Lily Potter that everyone adores, she no longer accepts failure and laziness that only James Potter foresee before, she wants everything done right and got aggravated if it does not. She no longer the wife and mother that people assume she would be but someone that her son, Harry Potter, would call it "no time" or "she's busy working".

Harry Potter spent his summer in Godric's Hollow, writing to his two best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, telling them his unhappy and irksome life and how he hated seeing his mom very worked up and not having long conversations with him but instead, telling him how his attitude never pleased her as he grows up. Lily Potter is an auror and all she does is fight and make a report.

_Do you reckon my mum loves me? Because I can't seem to notice and feel that –_ Harry wrote a hundredth times already from his previous letters to Ron and Hermione and it's always been a hundredth times that they answered back a "yes".

He twirls his quill, thinking of what to write next, but his clock chimed on his bedside table, disrupting his thoughts. _Six? Did I spend really that long writing?_ He asked himself. He started writing at one o' clock, it has always been his daily routine now that he's spending his summer doing nothing but write to his friends.

Shrugging, he stood up, signed his name on the letter and set it aside, thinking of sending it later.

There was a knock on his door and a weary-looking Lily Potter peered inside. "I see you're up. Can you make breakfast for me please? I still need to prepare for work." And she closed the door without waiting for her son's response.

Harry blinked, trying to register what her mum has said.

Ten minutes later, after getting all dressed up, and without bothering to comb his hair, he went hurriedly out of his room to make breakfast, not knowing that his mum was standing just outside of his door.

He bumped very hard into her, causing what Lily was supposed to be carrying very carefully, to topple over and now littered the floor, papers everywhere.

"HARRY!" shrieked Lily. Standing slowly, she massaged her aching buttocks while looking furiously at her son.

"Mum, I…I"

"What do you think you're doing?!" said Lily angrily. "Are you even looking where you're going?! Now look –!" she pointed on the complete mess. "Look what you've done!"

Harry was speechless. He was so shocked. He tried to open his mouth but nothing came. He stared at her for what seems like forever, not knowing what to say.

"Clean this up!" ordered Lily after a few quiet minutes. "And I want that in order!"

"Mum, I'm very sor –"

"Now!" yelled Lily and she stalked off in her bedroom, slumming the door shut behind her.

Harry stared at the door, shaking and feeling as though he's been cursed a thousand times. _What have I done?_

It took Harry almost an hour arranging the papers in a proper order but his mum hasn't come out yet.

Careful not to let slip the papers again, Harry cautiously knocked on his mum's bedroom. He heard footsteps but didn't open the door.

Very slowly, he turned the knob. There was a commotion inside. Lily was walking, getting everything and throwing things on her bed where a bag stood open. She stopped on her tracks when she saw Harry.

"Are you done?" she asked while holding a cloak. "Did you arrange them properly?"

Harry nodded.

"Good." said Lily. "Put it on the bed."

Harry followed quickly.

"I don't have much time and I need to dash. I can't believe they changed the time to seven-thirty."

Harry checked the clock; it was already fifteen minutes past seven.

"But mum, you haven't eaten anything yet. Surely the Ministry will underst –"

"They will not." said Lily simply.

There was a short silence where they stared at each other for a moment.

Harry bowed his head. He felt guilty and embarrass. "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier."

Continuing to prepare, Lily said, "No need to apologize. It's too late, Harry."

"But it's my fault, if I only slowed down a little bit –"

"Stop it, Harry!" Lily was looking at him intently. "I hope that you very well know that _it's done_." She emphasizes the last two words. "Now, if you don't have anything important to say, please leave my room." And she turned her back on Harry.

Harry felt pained, he can't move after being humiliated. He looked at her mother for one last time and left the room silently.

When Lily saw the door closed, she burst into tears. She hated herself for doing it. She regretted it.

She stood in front of a mirror where her reflection clearly tells that there's a state of physical tension or something not right. She looked away, not wanting to see anymore the gloomy look on her face.

She fastened her cloak and swung her bag around her shoulder, ready to leave.

Harry was preparing breakfast when Lily appeared in the kitchen. She observed Harry for a moment and said, "Harry –"

"Ouch!" Harry accidentally cut his finger, and the knife fell onto the floor in a clatter. He hadn't expected someone to call him.

Lily rushed towards her son. "Harry, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," said Harry immediately, hiding his hand on his back.

"What happened?" asked Lily. "Are you hurt?" she began examining Harry from head to foot.

"It's nothing."

"Harry, you're bleeding." said Lily when he saw Harry's hand on his back, blood rushing down. "Show me your hand."

Trembling, Harry held out his hand. It was now seriously bleeding nonstop.

"You call this _nothing_!" Lily asked incredulously at Harry. She grabbed her wand from her pocket and cast a healing charm. The bleeding stopped and the wound closed instantly.

"Don't ever do that again." sad Lily. "Do you understand me, Harry?"

Harry nodded.

"Okay, then. I'll be home at eight tonight." Lily told him. "There'll be a party in our department. Just a little celebration after all the nightmares."

"Party?" Harry could not believe what he's hearing. "You're kidding, right?"

"Kidding? Of course not." said Lily. "Not that I'm aware of."

Harry frowned. "But mum, what about my assembly?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Assembly? What assembly?"

"The Parents-Teachers Assembly; to discuss the standings of their students at Hogwarts. Ring a bell?" Harry stared at her skeptically.

Lily thought for a moment then said, "Ah, the parents-teachers assembly. Yes, I remember. And that's –"

"Tonight," Harry finished her words. "Seven o' clock, remember?" Harry couldn't believe that he's having a conversation like this to her mum. He felt as though her mum did it on purpose or maybe not because of her so called "important report".

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry." said Lily miserably. "I shouldn't have said that." She put her hand in her head. "I'm too concentrated on my report and –" she looked on Harry's eyes; sadness was visible even if he tries to hide it. "I'll try to be there, Harry."

Harry didn't express any emotions that he heard what her mum had said. He didn't speak for a moment.

"Harry?"

"Goodluck on your report, mum." Harry smiled a bit. "You'll do great." And he kissed her on the cheek.

Lily smiled and went to the fireplace. "See you later."

Harry nodded briefly; A saddened look still evident on his face.

After shouting, "Ministry of Magic!", she's gone in a whirl of smoke.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

Harry made a deep sigh and went back to his work after retrieving the fallen knife under the table.

A little disheveled and covered in soot, Lily emerged in the Department of Magical Transport where the other stone fireplaces are located.

Arthur Weasley, a close friend of Lily, stood smiling in front of her and said, "You really should get used to it by now, Lily. It looks as if you've fought a dozen of death eaters."

Lily rolled her eyes, also smiling. "With that, you wouldn't mind carrying these papers for me, would you?" she said. "I'm afraid they're going to slip in my hands at any moment."

"Oh," Arthur immediately grabbed the papers that were about to fall off. "You really need a hand with these. Too many."

"Thanks." said Lily and she began brushing off the soot in her cloak.

"So, how's Harry?" asked Arthur while walking and waiting to the lifts.

Lily's smile faded. "I made his morning miserable."

"Not again, Lily." Arthur looked at her.

"I know and I felt really stupid."

"Why? What happened?" asked Arthur. The lift descended in front of Arthur and Lily and they moved inside it. The grilles slid shut with a crash and the lift ascended slowly.

"I can't seem to control my temper." said Lily. "Just this morning, I yelled at him and – oh, I'm so stupid!" she thumped her foot. "I told Harry that I'll be home at eight because there'll be a party here tonight and –"

"But there'll be an assembly tonight at Hogwarts!" Arthur said quickly.

"I know," Lily told him miserably. "Harry reminded me about it and I was like, argh, I forgot – I _hate_ myself!" Lily stared on the floor. She felt dumb just in front of Arthur when talking about this kind of thing.

"It's alright, Lily." said Arthur softly. "I was also being reminded by my wife, Molly. She thought I didn't have time with the kids anymore. Just don't forget the assembly again later, okay?"

Lily nodded and made a small smile.

"Now, you might want to tell me what are these papers, anyway." said Arthur once they reached level two of the Auror's Headquarters. The lift doors opened and they stepped out of it, looking around.

"Oh, I have a big report today." Lily told him. "And I want to open up a topic about altering destiny."

"Altering destiny?" Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Do you believe that?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It's only a matter of changing the events, you know."

"Like time-turners?"

"Exactly!" said Lily. "But there's more into it that I want to find out, like in the next fifty years –"

"Fifty years! But people are still going to die," said Arthur, smirking. "You know, that's not out of your control, the only things you can control are your own choices."

"Okay," said Lily. "But that would be the other point of view. But I really don't have time to debate destiny. I just want to find out if there's more into it."

"I see," said Arthur. "So you've done a lot of research –"

"A lot!" said Lily earnestly. "And –"

"And that's the reason why you're always going home late, with no dinner, and looking tired the next day when you go to work. Is that right?"

Lily stared at him for a moment, trying to sink in what Arthur told her.

"Yes, but what – how did you know?" asked Lily, a little shaken.

"Well, let's say it's quite intriguing sometimes to get on with my son's and daughter who knows Harry very well, with Ron as Harry's best friend and all that, well, I hope you know what I mean."

"You mean, Harry's telling Ron about me?" said Lily quite sternly.

"Don't take it as something bad though," Arthur said immediately. "Ron's been receiving letters from your son and I bet anything, Hermione's receiving as well."

"Hermione?"

"Harry's other best friend." Arthur told her. "Anyway, Ron told me everything when I noticed Harry's letters and he seems so disturbed. Molly doesn't know because my son made me swear not to." Arthur stared at her straight in her eyes and said, "Harry loves you so much. He may not have the guts to say it, but his letters proves it. Give him all the love he needs."

Lily frowned as though Arthur's words offended her, she said, "I do love him. And I don't think everybody, aside from Harry and me, should know what's going on between our private lives. And thank you for telling me this, I think I'll have a word with Harry later."

"I know that, Lily." said Arthur. "We're just concerned but please don't start shouting at Harry again, he's just afraid to tell you all this."

"Who said I'm going to shout at him? He should know better than that! Being afraid will not do him any good, he should be brave like his father after risking his life for him!"

"Harry's brave and you're actually blaming him for what happened to James?" asked Arthur incredulously.

Lily just shrugged. She looked at her watch that says she still have five minutes to prepare.

"I need to go now, Arthur." Arthur handed back the papers to Lily. "Catch you up later." And she strode off to her office while rummaging the bag for her eyeglasses.

"Goodluck and don't forget the assembly!"

Lily just waved a hand while holding her eyeglasses and from the time she let her hand down, it accidentally hit a solid wall, causing her eyeglasses to crack.

_Unbelievable! _She said to herself. _Can't I have a moment of peace!_ She added while cursing her way to the Auror's office.

Harry ate his breakfast eagerly and stared blankly on the empty chair opposite him. His stomach lurched dramatically. His toast stood hanging between his hand and his mouth while his other hand twirls the fork with his fingers.

Morning always found Harry thinking about the day ahead. He generally began the day doing the chores, cleaning the house, wishing that his friends were there before setting off to Hogwarts for their usual Parents-Teachers Assembly, and as though someone pinch him hard on his side, he ate his food fast, did the chores, and headed upstairs to his bedroom.

He walked across his room, let Hedwig out of her cage where she soared around his room, while Harry prepared his letters, folded it, tied it on Hedwidg's leg and opened the window. He stroked Hedwig's feathers for the last time and let her fly out to the open.

"Safe flight, Hedwig." He whispered.

He scanned the morning sky where the tiny dot of Hedwig could be seen and bowed slightly.

He sat silently on his bed, pulled open his bedside drawer where his schoolbooks, quills, and parchments lay undisturbed. But apart from those things, Harry grabbed a leather notebook and his quill and started flicking the pages until he reached the page where a long poem was written but very messy-looking.

Looking at it, it's as if the writer was having difficulty on using the right words to fit what he or she was trying to point out, as though the writer couldn't make out his mind. There were many scratches. Here and there, words were crossed out and another word scrawled next to it. Lines and arrows crisscross in every direction. Clearly, the reader won't be able to understand the meaning of it all.

Harry stared at it for a moment and began writing a few lines.

… _**With stream in my eyes, I kneeled and look above – **_

He paused, thinking hard, and then dipped his quill on the inkbottle and slowly he writes, with a small smile on his face, the last and final words of his poem. Seeing Harry's satisfied look, he wrote on top of the poem the title, _A Mother's Love._ Deciding to rewrite the poem later, he set it on his study table, and started tidying his bedroom.

From the time he's done cleaning, his clock chimed again, telling him that it's already half past nine.

He made his way out of his room and proceeded to the next room, his mother's room. He opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

As far as Harry is concerned, the room has many pictures. Each of which has Harry's dad in it, James Potter, smiling and waving. There's one picture where Lily was carrying the baby Harry on her arms, cuddling him, while James attempted to do funny faces and jumping up and down to surprise Harry behind his back. The sixteen-year-old Harry stared at it, smiling, and a look of longing to have his dad again at home is very visible on his face.

Harry always feels comfortable even just inside this room, he feels that his dad was alive and always having fun. Harry didn't ponder on to these thoughts more but merely shrugged and continued to do his work.

There isn't anything to clean up, knowing that the room is always neat and clean, but Harry, having used to doing all the tasks in any way he can, scanned the room skeptically for any signs of unnecessary objects that's needed cleaning until his eyes sees the bed where a dark blue folder lay at the foot of it.

Frowning, Harry picked up the folder. Scrawled across it in a slanting writing was _Ministry Report_, and then below it in small letters, it says _Drafts._

Harry scowled at it at first but a huge realization hit him, his eyes went wide, panic is coursing through him. _Oh no… _he said to himself. _This can't have been forgotten!_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

Without bothering to change his clothes and without bothering to think twice, Harry went scurriedly out of the room and sprinted downstairs until he reached the fireplace. Even though flooing isn't his favorite way of traveling, he scooped a handful of floo powder on the flowerpot, stepped up to the fire, threw the powder into the flames, and he vanished.

The usual feeling when traveling by floo powder made Harry nauseated and spinning very fast made his head ache. Then finally, he fell onto the cold stone, which is already normal to him for years, he stood up and looked around quickly. Trying to stay calm, he wondered what to do because people began to notice his sudden appearance and some started pointing and whispering.

"That's rude you know." Nymphadora Tonks, an Auror and Harry's friend, tapped lightly the arm of a young boy who obviously been whispering and pointing his finger to Harry. The boy jumped in surprise and ran out on the opposite direction.

Tonks, who had a pale heart-shaped face, dark twinkling eyes, and a short blonde hair, walked in front of Harry and said, "Wotcher, Harry."

"Tonks," said Harry, stepping out onto the fireplace.

Minding their own business, people began to take off and the usual memos zoomed past them as they entered the lift.

"You're not in trouble, are you?" asked Tonks as she eyed Harry warily.

"No." said Harry, and then asked quickly. "Have you seen my mum?"

"Oh, I haven't seen her yet, why?"

"She has a meeting today and she forgot to bring this with her." said Harry, showing Tonks the folder.

"Meeting?" Tonks asked thoughtfully. "Oh, yes, there's a meeting going on."

"Can you tell me where?"

"Come with me," said Tonks, walking to the lift. "I'll lead you to it."

"Thanks." said Harry, following Tonks as they entered the lift.

Tonks was looking at him interestedly, and then asked, "Have you been doing something messy, Harry?"

Harry looked at her then examined his reflection on the door in front of him. "Oh," he brushed off the dirt. "I was cleaning the house and I never thought to clean up myself when I found this." He held up the folder.

Tonks smiled at him.

And they heard a woman's voice saying, "Level two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services."

"Here we are, Harry." Said Tonks, and they went out of the lift into a corridor lined with doors. They turned a corner, walked through a pair of heavy oak doors and emerged in a cluttered, open area divided into cubicles; the Auror Headquarters.

Harry has been here before but Tonks beckoned him to follow her through a second set of oak doors, which led to another passage. They stopped beside a glass door where a grim-looking man sat beside it, reading a newspaper.

"I'll leave you here, Harry." Tonks told him. "I believe that's Lily." She looked on the glass door where Lily is indeed standing in the middle of all the Ministry officials, her back facing the door. "See you later, Harry."

Harry nodded and said thank you before Tonks left.

Harry's heart was hammering fast. He walked closed to the grim-looking man and said, "Good morning, sir."

The man set down the newspaper and said in a hoarse voice, "Morning, Mr. Potter." and began to examine Harry's appearance.

Harry was expecting the man to say something after he was greeted but nothing came, and the man just looked at him as though bored. So Harry pressed on.

"Excuse me, sir. Could you, um… take this folder in the conference room for me?" Harry held out the folder in front of him. "My… um, Lily Potter is expecting it."

Not taking the folder, the man raised his eyebrows and made a small grin. He said, "I'm sorry but that's against headquarters' policy."

"But –" Harry didn't know what to say. Then, "But she could lose her job." He said quickly.

"Oh, that's tragic," said the man and made a gesture as though he's scared, but then he smiled widely and said, "But not my problem." Then the man continued to read the newspaper as though nothing had happened.

Harry was taken aback. _You're nasty just like Snape_… he said to himself while eyeing the man coolly. Then, he looked back on the glass door, _oh no… she's looking for something over her file case_ –

And hurriedly, Harry opened the door, took a deep breath and went inside.

The atmosphere inside the conference room changed abruptly when they saw a boy entered the room all of a sudden as though he was quite lost and entered the wrong room by accident. But Lily was too busy looking inside her file case that she didn't notice the changes.

Harry stood on the spot, eyeing the crowd nervously and said, "Excuse me for interrupting,"

Hearing the familiar voice, Lily stood frozen; eyes went wide as though she's seeing a ghost.

"Um… this is for you," said Harry, handing the folder to her mom.

Very slowly, Lily turned around.

Then, Harry continued, "I just thought that you might need this folder that you –" Harry saw, to his astonishment, that Lily was holding the same folder in her hand after looking inside her file case. "– already have…" and Harry's voice tailing away feebly.

_Oh great… _Harry told himself_. This is pretty unexpected – nightmare!_

Lily looked startled. She gave Harry a "what-the-hell-are-you-doing?" look over her shoulder.

Harry took a step back, eyed the Ministry officials tensely and said, sounding slightly nervous, "Er, false alarm… terribly sorry. I… I just thought you – I mean, _she_ –" Harry referred to her mom, who now looked as though she's going to faint at any moment. "– have anything she needed, because…" Harry was thinking fast on what to say next. "… she worked so hard in it, I mean, really dedicated –" Lily cast him a cold stare but Harry continued. "This is my fault. I'm really sorry for the interruption." And Harry left the room.

There was a moment silence then Lily took a deep breath, faced the crowd once again and said, "Shall we proceed?"

Harry looked very troubled when he left the conference room that he didn't exactly pay any attention to where he was going. He turned a corner and collided into someone with bushy brown hair.

"Hermione?" Harry panted, getting to his feet.

The girl turned around, only she wasn't Hermione but –

"Tonks!"

"Harry!" Tonks straightened up. "What's up?"

"I thought you were Hermione."

"Well, I only got her hair but not her brains," said Tonks, beaming.

"But that looks nice, though." Harry told her. "You're doing great."

"Thanks," said Tonks, but she noticed Harry's change of tone and his gloomy look. "What's with the face?"

Harry raised the folder.

"Oh," said Tonks, getting the point.

"My mum already have this folder," said Harry. "I-never-want-to-see-it-again." He gritted his teeth.

Harry and Tonks were silent for a moment, then Harry spoke in a mocking voice, "I think that went well, the meeting."

"Did it?"

"Yeah," said Harry, sounding ridiculous. "The glaring, the awkwardness, the _cold stare _from my mum. Just what I've been hoping for."

"That's quite alright. Don't worry about it."

"I think I talked too much," Harry told her.

"You did?" said Tonks incredulously.

Harry nodded.

"Well," Tonks patted him on his shoulder. "Don't let your mind become cluttered with worry, Harry. It leaves less room for the good stuff." said Tonks brightly and winking at him.


End file.
